I'm sick of Sand
by Joyah
Summary: What happens when Sanzo and co. have no other option but to take a little side trip to the beach? WARNING: may include llamas and giganto lizards. Long one-shot. Rated T for swearing
1. How it all started

_Thanks for reading my fanfic! Please review and message me because I would LOVE some advice or any ideas you might have or tell me about any mistakes I made. I dedicate this to my wonderful talented friends who also have fanfic accounts Viloia and lolli.pop9. Thankyou!_

_Oh yeah, and in no way to I own Saiyuki, Saiyuki Reload, Saiyuki Gunlock, or anyother Saiyuki related property.Sigh, I don't even have any dvds...i have to watch it all at Olivias house..._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Chapter One_

Sanzo looks up at the sky which has been bleached a sharp pale blue by the intense sun. It had gone from a soft azure at dawn to almost total whiteout by noon. It was a completely cloudless day and apart from the occasional dried up shrub, there's nothing on the horizon as far as the eye could see, except for the jagged black mountain tops in the far distance. I looked as if the whole thing could be painted by three year old with very limited art supplies. The black mountain range, the white sky, the deep ochre red of the endless sand... and that was about it. Sanzo turned his head back toward the opposite direction that they were travelling and squinted his eyes painfully at the sun and to check on their progress. Sure enough, there was still nothing to be seen except the long trail of dust they had left in their wake; they had lost sight of their last village about five hours ago.

Sanzo crossed his arms. It was hard enough to stay awake as it was but Goku was now snoring loudly in the back seat and no one in the jeep had enough energy to stop him. The rhythmic sound was slowly putting him to sleep but Sanzo refused to let his sleeping patterns be effected by the sun _or_ a certain annoying monkey. Hakkai was concentrating on his driving with both hands on the steering wheel, clearly finding it difficult to keep his eyes open; his spectacle flashed in the sun as he checked their bearings. Gojyo was almost lying down in the back, with his head leaning back over the edge of the jeep and a cigarette in his mouth that would occasionally drop ash on onto the sand behind him. His eyes were open but it was hard to say whether he was thinking or just unconscious. Goku had his mouth wide open, drooling, and fingers clenched habitually around his noi-bo, and Sanzo was sitting as usual with his hands in his sleeves of his Sanzo suit, as Gojyo officially dubbed it, while staring grimly at nothing in particular. This silence lasted a couple of minutes before...

"Sanzo" whined Goku. "I'm hungry"

"What do you want me to do about it?" asked Sanzo, clearly aggravated.

"I don't know. I'm just sooooo hungry. I haven't eaten since breakfast"

"That was two hours ago you bottomless pit. You had the meat buns we bought at the market"

"Yeah, well. I'm still hungry."

An angry mark appeared on Sanzo's forehead. He was explosive but was trying not to blow up because it would waste too much energy.

"Now that you mention it Goku, I could really do with some sake too, but unfortunately we forgot to stock up at our last pit-stop" noted Hakkai.

"As long as we're having a bitching session, I would like to point out that I am REALLY bored (the rest of us can define this as Gojyo _not_ being laid)" groaned Gojyo. "_I _could do with some chick action, not to mention the sake"

"Eww, you pervy water sprite" cried Goku. "That's disgusting!"

5

"Yeah, well why don't you get a life instead of wasting mine?" yelled Gojyo back

4

"You don't have a life you dirty cockroach!"

3

"Where did you get cockroach from stupid monkey?!"

2

"Well, you've got antennae"

1

"They are not antennae, and don't bag the hair. The ladies love it!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHITS IF YOU WANT TO LIVE." Sanzo finally explodes (We all know it couldn't last long.) and lets out a couple of rounds from his banishing gun towards Goku and Gojyo who temporarily forget their argument to dodge the bullets. Big mistake. As Goku and Gojyo both leant to the left of the jeep with all their weight, Poor Hakuryu's ability to keep himself stable was stretched to the limit. The whole car was tilted on two wheels and for a moment, everyone was frigidly still with their eyes wide open.

Then suddenly,

...Whoosh...

A plastic chip packet which was floating on the breeze, fluttered down towards them. Goku saw it and could imagine what was going to happen but was unable to do much. (they were still balanced dangerously on two wheels remember!) Goku tried to blow the packet away while moving as little as possible, puffing his lungs as hard as he could but it was pointless because it still drifted regardless of the Sanzo's party's silent pleas until it hovered about one millimetre away from Hakuryu. Both Hakkai and Gojyo had now joined Goku, frantically trying to blow it away as well.\, but it was too late. A tiny foil corner clips Hakuryu's side.

CRASH!!! Hakuryu reverted back to his dragon shape and fainted from exhaustion after collapsing on his side with a gathered thud, spilling out his passengers in a heap beside him with much the same grace.

"Fuck" says Gojyo while spitting out a mouthful of sand.

It seemed to sum up their situation perfectly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you like it did you like it?! I've already got a couple of chapters done on word so i'll be updating soon if some people like it!


	2. The no 1 reason why not to litter

_Chapter Two_

_Rated for bad language and general tom-foolery. I thank Oribiya with my eternal gratitude and hopes her Wow homework isnt too hard. I'm sorry there's been no activity on my thing for about 2 months now but I swear it wasn't my fault (I SWEAR!). I JUST got internet hooked up again and I'm living in Canberra now. Not in the mood for ranting so ill probably do that later. I hope you like but its unlikely that you will. I don't own Saiyuki or anything Saiyuki related. Perhaps the random ocs that pop up as side characters, but they don't count. Thanks to Cyh Scaevola for the title. _

"So!" Hakkai called out cheerfully, while digging through a backpack. "We have one canteen of water, two egg salad sandwiches, two cigarette packets... and a lighter."

"How can you be so enthusiastic!?" Goku complained. "We're stuck in the middle of a desert with no food and one canteen of water!"

"Not to mention, no chicks in sight!" Gojyo added dolefully.

"Hey, you forget, we have two egg salad sandwiches!" Hakkai replied happily. "Oh whoops, I forgot. I already fed one of them to Hakuryu."

Sanzo's eyes were hidden under a shadow in intense rage and there were black clouds churning ominously behind him. "I swear I will kill you all without hesitation if you got me lost in this desert with only two packets of cigarettes!"

"O' High and Mighty Priest. Who says you can have _both_ packs of cigarettes?" Gojyo questioned.

The High and Mighty Priest in question instantaneously pulled out the gun and pressed it onto the exact centre of Gojyo's forehead. "I do."

Gojyo backed off immediately with his hands in the air, reminding himself silently never to mess with Sanzo when he's going through withdrawal. "Come on guys, it's too hot to be getting ourselves into these kinds of fights." Hakkai advised sensibly. "We should conserve our energy for getting to the nearest town, so we can get more supplies and get Hakuryu some medical attention." The others agreed, although grudgingly, that they should be moving on as soon as possible.

But then Hakkai ruined it, by exclaiming: "But I was sure we packed food!" re-igniting the argument. The stares returned to Goku who had innocently continued walking.

"_Goku_" Hakkai inquired sweetly, "You wouldn't happen to know what happened to that extra bag of food we brought, would you?"

"No…" He paused. "We brought extra food?! You should have told me before Hakkai! I'm sooooo hungry!!"

Gojyo cracked. "NOT AS HUNGRY AS THE REST OF US YOU LITTLE LYING PISSRAG!" And he tried to jump Goku but was restrained by Hakkai, although he too, was about to murder a certain little monkey, not to mention Sanzo. (Really. To express how Sanzo was going to kill Goku, this wouldn't be a T rated fanfic anymore) 

"Now now, let's just see what Goku has to say about that." Hakkai murmured almost unwillingly.

"What are you talking about guys?"

"We're _talking about_ how you ate all our food!"

"Nah, I wouldn't do something like that." In fact, Goku had done this many times before, and you can be sure that Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo were remembering it. The youngest member of the group was getting a little bit freaked out by all the homicidal intent in the air.

"Then where did the chip packet come from?"

"I dunno, no really! I swear. I didn't eat any of the backup food."

"Would you swear that on your life?" Gojyo asked evilly and half jokingly but Goku replied without a moment's hesitation, looking a little bit hurt. "Yes. I would. I mean, usually I do things without thinking about it first and then you guys get all mad at me, and those times I deserve it, but this time..." he sniffs and rubs his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. "I swear guys, I wouldn't do something that."

There's a pause.

"Let's go." Sanzo murmured. All the anger had totally disappeared from the air as if evaporated by the sun and the rest of the group seemed a bit awkward. "You too." This was directed to Goku, who looked so happy, it was a complete reverse to his face just a few moments before. He knew this was the closest thing to Sanzo's way of apologising.

Goku grins and Gojyo messes up his hair. "Come on tiny monkey, we've got a long way to go."

"Yeah," Goku answered mischievously. "But I've got the last sandwich."

"You what!?" Goku and Gojyo become background music with their constant arguing. Hakkai gets the feeling this broken record will be shot before the end of the day. They turn to the west, Hakkai cradling Hakuryu like a puppy, Goku and Gojyo running ahead, and Sanzo staring ominously at nothing in particular.

'Such is life…' He sighed.

_I was listening to Nickleback while writing this and I think that I they suit each other perfectly. If they ever changed the song to something in English (as if they would but anyway), I think it should definitely be by Nickleback. Sorry for the short chapter but it kinda makes sense for me to put a new chapter here and I promise I'll make a really long chapter (or at least I'll try to...)next time. Keep reviewing or whatever._

_...I tried to sound nonchalant or something there but the truth is that I'm desperate for anything. PLEASE!_

VILOIA WAS ALSO HERE IN THE AUTHOR NOTE!!

_(I proof read it and hopefully she doesn't check the story before uploading it . I did a crappy job)_


	3. awww Goku has a moment XD

_Chapter three_

I don't own any Saiyuki and I'm feeling really sad about it. Please review! And I might be able to feel a little better

--

"We've been walking nowhere for hours!" yelled Goku in a breakdown, falling to his knees on the sand in a spasm. "AAHAHAHAHHAHHHH. I'M SO HUNGRY!!"

"I can't take much more of this" confirmed Gojyo in despair. "_Please. Sanzo. I. I NEED a cigarette. PLEASE!"_

"No." Came the blunt answer

"AHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHH." Now there were two people on their knees in the sand.

Sanzo turned to Hakkai. "How much longer must I endure this?" The wailing stopped abruptly.

"Yeah, is there a town nearby or anything?" asked Goku

"I'll just check" said Hakkai happily and he magically pulled out a map from his shirt.

Everyone sweatdrops

Sanzo says monotonously, despite his inner anger meter going off the charts (zoom in on said inner anger meter which is an odometer thing going crazy and rocking erratically with steam coming out of it like a kettle) "So you mean that we've been wandering aimlessly for hours and you've had a map the whole time." Goku and Gojyo are about to start screaming incoherently in a fit of rage and Sanzo is tempted to join them.

--10 minutes later-- (Because you don't want me to write a whole page of yelling and swearing. No wait, I do that anyway...)

Hakkai has unfolded a questionably large map and everyone is leaning in, in a huddle to see.

"What the fuck is this. It's nothing but a black piece of paper" twitches Sanzo.

"A damn huge blank piece of paper" remarks Gojyo.

"There's nothing on it" says Goku, puzzled.

Hakkai sweatdrops now and says "Well, actually, this is a map of the surrounding area"

"But there's nothing on it" repeats Goku in confusion (adorable. KYA!). Hakkai points to a tiny key in the left bottom corner.

"Well, as you can see," he explains. "The blank areas on the map signify open desert"

...

There's a long silence and no one moved until Sanzo's cigarette drops a burning ember onto the 'map'.

"AHH! What the fuck! Cut that crap out, you're burning the map!" shouts Gojyo while ripping the map from Sanzo's hands. He flails it in the air with one hand, trying to put out the progressively growing fire.

"There's nothing _ON_ the map asshole" shouts Sanzo back.

"Yeah? Well it's about just as useful as you're being Oh Holiest of all, _Priest_ Genjyo Sanzo" retorts Gojyo with the map still flailing in his hand.

"You wanna say that again?" Sanzo pulled out his gun on Gojyo and fired a few shots which were messily dodged.

"Hey! You could of _actually_ hit me"

"That was the point"

"But then what would you do without me?"

A few more rounds are shot at Gojyo until Hakkai cries "Stop!" and removes the no longer smouldering map out of Gojyo's hand. They all stare in disbelief as he pulls out the final fold of the map that was previously undiscovered revealing a small red dot on the map marked with tiny font declaring—

"BEACH!!" shouts chibi Goku1 excitedly. "Beach, Beach, Beach, Beach. We're going to the Beach! I hope they have seafood BBQ squid and octopus grilled with that really thick delicious sauce. Ooh, and ice-cream stands definitely. I'll have strawberry, and chocolate, and bubblegum"

"And banana" interjects Gojyo but Goku didn't hear because he was already, in his mind, sitting on the sand, ice-cream in one hand and spade in the other. It was only when Sanzo took out his trusty fan did his childlike (and cute!) ranting stop.

"Ow. What was that for?" shouts Goku reverting from chibi form to rub his head which was already swelling.

"Stupid Monkey." Growled Sanzo "We are _not_ going to the beach"

"Oh, the beach" groaned Gojyo and fell onto his back. Hakkai misinterpreted his groan for one of irritation.

"Yes, I would have to agree. Usually, I wouldn't particularly feel like a little side trip to the beach. Especially taking into account our previous visit...

What follows is a series of photo themed flashbacks to their first and sworn last, trip to the seaside. All that I can say is that it involved a mountainous pile of empty sake bottles, a temperamental crab, and a very large (also mountainous and temperamental) angry woman in her bathing suit. Read 

Viloia's account for details of this horrific event.

(All of their faces have become shadowed in shame and disgrace after the flashback)

"...but at the rate we're going, I don't see any other choice" concluded Hakkai.

"No." Sanzo remained resolute.

"Please Sanzo, We're dyin' out here" pleaded Goku with puppy dog eyes. (I was thinking about it and baby monkey eyes would have been cute too!!)

"Alright" Sanzo gives in grumpily after a wait.

Goku and Gojyo dance chibi in the bleak desert background happily singing "We're going to the beach" to the tune of Mary had a little lamb2. (It seems that Gojyo remembered one of the many guy reasons why he loved the beach wink wink)

"But it's only for a pit-stop. After we refuel the dragon over there" says Sanzo while pointing to the unconscious Hakuryu being held by Hakkai "We're going again, with or without whichever dickheads decide they'd prefer to walk to Gyumoah. No beach, no ice-cream. I don't have time to waste with all your crap."

"So it's settled. We're off to the beach, again." Says Hakkai gladly. Hakuryu let out a little cough "And Hakuryu says could you please hurry."

"As if I'm taking orders from a scaly chicken" teased Goku

"What did you say?" asks Hakkai leaning to take off his power limiters.

"NOTHING. No-nothing" Goku quickly repents.

"You idiot monkey" hushed Gojyo at Goku. "You could of killed us all with that comment"

"I'm not taking orders from _you_ either"

"Why the hell not!?" Their argument faded into the background again.

1 Moment of Torture: All I could imagine as I wrote this was chibi Goku sitting in the sand at the beach wearing a sailor suit. KYA!!

2 High five for everyone who tried to sing it in front of the computer! I've tried it and it's hard, you have to stretch out the syllables. No. I couldn't have just changed the song!


	4. A Puppet Show & The Taste of Perfection

_**Chapter four**_

_It may be wise to pay attention to the time indicator things I put before a flashback because there are a lot of them. Sorry. I don't know why I have so many. I hope you can make sense of them. As usual, I still don't own any Saiyuki related anything and the characters aren't mine either. sigh this chap has taken a while to upload because a certain someone (not pointing any fingers, Olivia) has not been replying to my emails. Anyway, please please please review(?!) _

(Flashback)

Hakkai laughed and said to Sanzo "ha-ha I'm glad we're going to a _different_ beach. I don't think they'd sell us any alcohol otherwise considering how we emptied their whole stock last time." Sanzo just grunted. They forgot they're still in a desert with no food, just about no water. Getting to the beach would be easier said than done.

-- (**Sixteen Hours Previously**) --

... "Snore"...

... "Snore"...

... "SNORE"...

... "SN-erkagah" gagged Goku in his sleep, for it was indeed Goku snoring. He was now gagging because Gojyo had unconsciously stuffed his foot into Goku's mouth alongside a whole lot of sand.

(**Flashback even further**)

"Okay Hakkai, which direction?" asked Goku confidently.

Hakkai spread open the map between his hands and held it to face height. He walked around in a circle a couple of times.

"Err, Hakkai?" He asked again with a questioning look on his face. Hakkai didn't answer but stretched the map onto the sand and peered at it vaguely, checking with the direction of the sun and wind. This went on for a couple more minutes in silence until a lone tumbleweed blew past and Sanzo started twitching. Goku built up the courage to ask him again, he hadn't forgotten that an angry Hakkai would be more dangerous than an angry Sanzo. "Um, do you KNOW where we're going?"

"I'm almost certain it's this way" he answered, turning his head back to them to smile while pointing in a seemingly random direction.

"Almost?" they all winced.

The smiling possible executioner didn't say anything but started walking anyway. They had no other choice but to follow him; some more angrily than others.

_**END FLASHBACK(S!)**_

They had spent four hours walking though a sandstorm, countless mirages, and Goku singing the 'Going to the Beach' song the entire time. Needless to say, shots were fired. They spent the other twelve hours sprawled on their stomachs in the sand asleep after collapsing from dehydration and severe exhaustion.

Suddenly, Hakuryu opened his eyes and immediately realising what happened, used his last ounce of strength to nip Hakkai on the finger. Hakkai woke up slowly, blinking the sand out of his eyes and shook himself out to wake up the others. He saw Gojyo a few feet away and stumbled towards him. "Hey Gojyo wake up!" said Hakkai while shaking him by the shoulders.

"Hey. Stop. The only way I ever want to wake up is with a hot sweaty chick next to me" groaned Gojyo dryly. Then he turned to his left shoulder and coughed.

"–but why is my foot so slimy? Ergh!" said Gojyo, revolted, as he pulled his drool saturated foot out of Goku's mouth which promptly returned to snoring. "It must have been instinctive" he commented quietly and then turned to Hakkai. "Will you do the honours or shall I?"

"By all means, you go ahead" replied Hakkai gesturing toward the sleeping monkey. Gojyo then sat on Goku's chest and held his nose so he couldn't breathe (or snore). Soon enough, Goku awoke spluttering. "Are we at the beach yet?" he asked sleepily after a moment of confusion with his eyes still closed.

"We have a while to go yet Goku" answered Hakkai with a weary smile. Goku then shot his eyes open wide and shouted extremely loudly and suddenly "Gojyo get off me you fat pervy water sprite!"

"Who are you calling fat! This body's the model of perfection"

"I've seen cockroaches with better fashion sense than you dirty kappa!"

"WHat!? That doesn't even make sense idiot. What do my clothes have to do with physique stupid monkey? And I'll tell you something, the ladies love my threads"

"That's disgusting! They were probably hired by pest control dickhead"

"Yeah? Well we better get them up here because there's a teeny tiny monkey problem the needs beaten the crap out of"

"You're always getting other people to do your dirty work you lazy kappa"

...

"...Not all of it."

...

...

...

"ERAAGAGERHHHHH!!"

"Hey, hey. That's enough guys. Nice to see you so energetic" laughed Hakkai.

"Hmm. But why does my mouth taste so revolting? It's terrible, like old sweaty socks and stuff" Goku grimaced.

Gojyo smiled evilly, replying easily "That, my little monkey friend." He threw an arm around Goku's shoulder with a cig still dangling from his mouth (That managed to survive all this) "Is the taste of perfection."

Goku looked confused. "What's that supposed to mean!?" He shouted a couple of seconds after the other two turned to leave.

**Zooms in on Sanzo who just rolled over in his sleep**. They had almost forgotten about him.

A few metres away they huddled in a circle much like a soccer team before the second half or a 1footy team after they win...only without the bad singing.

"Who's gonna do it" asks Goku

"I don't know, but whoever it is, they better have a good reaction time" answered Hakkai

"I don't get what the big deal is. Can't we just yell a bit?" Gojyo pointed out perceptibly

"I wouldn't suggest it. Last time a hotel manager tried it a couple of years ago, well, I'll just say they're still repairing the damage to the hotel and the surrounding mountainside.

_(Summary of Events)_

_Performed by Hakkai and Goku using hand puppets and a puppet theatre that seems to have appeared from thin air._

"Excuse me sir. You must get out of this room immediately, O' most holiest of priests" said the hotel manager puppet. "A rock slide has been reported heading straight for this section of the hotel."

No response from sleeping Sanzo

"Sir! I must implore you to get up. You are in great danger Great Sir!'

Still no response. At this point it is uncertain whether Sanzo is in fact still asleep or in silent incensed rage from being bothered.

"Sir?" the poor man politely tapped him on the shoulder.

...

"GROAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!" the monster has awakened.

(Remember this is a puppet show by Hakkai and Goku...)

"Who DARES interrupt my holy slumber!?" boomed Sanzo (/Goku) in a resonating voice

BANG crunch BANG snap BANG crash BANG BANG (collapse) BANG smash BANG (he pulled out his gun) BANG BANG BANG etc.

**Narrator:** Several minutes later the hotel is in ruin and the entire top story has collapsed in on itself. Not a single window has remained intact and there is rubble everywhere. A cricket lets out a feeble chirp followed by another gun shot. A minute later, a rock fall, feeble in comparison to the mighty rage of Sanzo's wrath, knocks over the last remaining standing section of the multistorey hotel. Hakkai has just come back from grocery shopping. You just see his back as he stands a few metres away from the wreckage and after a moment the full grocery bags in his arms drop to the ground.

(End puppet summary show)

"Oh." Gojyo stares in a combination of wonder and shock. "In that case" His voice becomes positive as if he's making a point "I vote Goku go"

"I second that vote" answered Hakkai immediately.

2 If you're confused or indignant, I'm talking about AFL here (It's not like soccer or rugby but more like a mix of both. Perhaps the best high impact sport game ever invented and in my opinion which should be included in the Olympics. Although, personally I don't support a team...cough cough). I'm sure that whichever team you do support sings beautifully like a chorus of angels, but in my opinion, it's just not the best idea to get twenty or so brawny pumped up football players after a win and have them sing a bad theme song.


	5. A comrade indeed

_**Chapter **__**five**_

_(TO ME: REMEMBER TO insert quick recap before putting up so people know what the hell you're on about!)_

"What? Why do I have to go? This is so unfair! Come on guys. You ganged up!" yelled Goku.

"I'm sorry, Goku. But it was 'voted'" explained Hakkai while pushing him forward.

Gojyo and Hakkai then immediately retreated behind a nearby sand dune. Goku is trapped. He slowly walks over to the sleeping form, cautiously taking smaller and smaller steps as he got closer to the slumbering beast.

"Sanzo?" he whispered carefully.

No response. (Something about history repeating itself)

"Sanzo?" he said, slightly louder.

Still no response.

Goku stood next to him nervously but he keeps his body as far away as possible, for a fast retreat. He then raises his arm.

The two behind the safety of the sand dune widen their eyes. Somehow, someway, they have found movie-like lounge chairs and are leaning back in them, with hands clutching the arms in suspension.

Goku reaches down to tap him on the shoulder. 'It's like pulling off a bandaid.' He says in his mind 'I've got to do it fast and get it over with.'

Gojyo and Hakkai have randomly found cinema popcorn and are watching intently from their cinematic view point, eyes never leaving the action that was about to take place in front of them.

Goku finally summons up the courage to do it but his arm is shaking like crazy and he's sweating with concentration.

Popcorn falls from Gojyo's mouth and Hakkai sips his drink. (If you're wondering where they got it from, it was the snack bar. Where else!?) lol.

Back to Goku. He twitches his hand involuntarily from the pressure, he has the look of a surgeon who doesn't know what he's doing and it looks like he's going to give up when….

As quick as lighting he feels something cold against his temple. Goku opens his eyes a crack and almost shrieks with alarm. Sanzo is holding his gun at point blank against his temple.

"Ahh...hehehe…hiya Sanzo!" Goku stammers nervously. The puppet show didn't help. "I'm sorry. It was all their idea I swear! Sanzo, Sanzo?"

The monk's eyes were still closed.

"**TH' FUCK! He's asleep**!?" screams Gojyo in enragement. "**What the FUCK! That shit crazy priest." **

They all sweatdrop and Sanzo is still holding the gun against Goku's head, fast asleep. "It must be subliminal instinct." reasons Hakkai.

"AHHHH!" Goku finally breaks down and runs back to Hakkai and Gojyo. It was too much stress for him.

"There must be some way to wake that son of a bitch without being killed in the process!" Contemplated Gojyo.

The three of them scan the area.

"There's nothing but tons and tons of sand and a couple of rocks." Goku delivers the obvious area report.

"Hmmm." Hmmed Hakkai "If only we could devise a way to harness these materials in a way to safely wake Sanzo before he dies of dehydration."

"Yes. We must do it to help a comrade in need"

"It's for his own good!"

"It's the only thing to do in a desperate situation like this!"

In their heads they're all thinking one thing: 'Stone the monk.'

Everyone's eyes slowly travelled across the sand to a neat pile of variously sized rocks. "Hmm, Thankyou Goku. It was very thoughtful of you to arrange them for us" mulled Hakkai but Goku and Gojyo didn't hear him because they were already both in combat mode with war paint on their cheeks and a rock in each hand. "Now, let's do this quickly before he wakes up for himself" instructs Commander Gojyo. Private Goku nods in agreement. The commander pulls down a projector screen with a messily drawn cartoon of grumpy Sanzo stuck on with sticky tape. He takes out a pointer stick. "Its 100 points for the arms and legs; 250 for the stomach; 500 for the head and 800 for anything below the hips and above the knees. Got it? Move in troops! Move it move it!"

Hakkai sweatdrops for a moment after surveying the scene but picks up a rock anyway.

"READY? AIM, FIRE!"

About a dozen rocks were hurled at the sleeping Sanzo priest and a second later after the first wave, a huge boulder. Gojyo and Goku turn to Hakkai in surprise.

"What?" He shrugs in return.

They return their attention to Sanzo. About a metre away from achieving the goal, those flying projectiles never reached their target. "BANG BANG BANG!"

In his sleep, Sanzo had still been able to shoot down all the rocks without missing a single one.

'What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" Gojyo had to be restrained by Hakkai and Goku (Hakkai: Please stop Gojyo! He's sleeping; he doesn't know what he's doing. Goku: err, Hakkai, I think that's the point)

Unexpectedly, a fly came out of nowhere and landed on Sanzo's nose. He sneezed and woke up immediately turning to the three hiding behind the sand dune, scowling at them with laser beam eyes. "Ha-ha, low blood pressure." Hakkai chuckled forcefully.


End file.
